Broken Hero Page 12

  Yet here I was, sharing them with a client, no less. I was supposed to be a professional who knew how to keep my work and interior worlds separate. But there was something about Natalie, something that made all the shit I kept locked away bubble to the surface.

  She was bringing something out of me, and it scared me.

  “I need to use the little girl’s room,” she said after we’d finished our third round. “Don’t go anywhere.”

  “Wouldn’t dream of it,” I said with a grin.

  She gave me a smile and a wink as she headed away from the table. And, of course, I couldn’t take my eyes off her perfect, swaying ass as she disappeared out of sight.

  What the hell was it about her? I racked my brain as soon as I was alone. She was beautiful and brilliant and ambitious. But I’d met plenty of beautiful women during my time in the business.

  Then again, none of them were as beautiful as her.

  A thought occurred to me, one that sent a cold, sharp spike of fear right into my belly.

  What if it was guilt?

  Sure, there was definitely something between the two of us, something I was having a hard time coming to terms with.

  But as much as I would’ve liked to pretend that we were nothing more than two people with an obvious mutual attraction building a connection over drinks, there was the matter of how horribly I was betraying her.

  What if my opening up to her about my past was some shitty way of trying to make myself feel better about the big lie, the one where her life was at risk because of me?

  It was almost too much to take. I threw back the rest of my whiskey, needing something to blot out my thoughts. I quickly ordered another before she got back, not wanting her to see me doing some serious cope-drinking.

  “What’s up?” Natalie asked as she slid back into her seat.

  “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “The color’s all gone out of your face,” she said. “Looks like you just got the bad news to end all bad news.”

  Great—now I was showing on the outside how I felt on the inside. The cool and control that I’d developed over the years was getting chipped away at by the minute, and I shuddered to think about what would happen if I kept drinking.

  Would I spill it all? I couldn’t. As much as the guilt was gnawing away at me with little rat’s teeth, I couldn’t tell her. To do so would be to put her and me—not to mention Ellie and my team—in incalculable danger.

  No, I had to suck it up and suffer the decisions that I’d made. Relieving myself of guilt in a drunken spill of admissions was a luxury I didn’t have and couldn’t afford.

  “Just, ah, some heartburn,” I said. “I love whiskey, but once I hit thirty, my body stopped loving it back. Once I get a few shots in me, my gut feels like it’s in revolt.”

  Not the most charming cover, but it seemed to do the trick. The curious look on her face disappeared and was replaced with a thoughtful one.

  “Now it’s your turn to tell me what’s on your mind,” I said, taking my drink into my hand.

  “Nah,” she said. “It’s nothing you want to hear about.”

  “Try me.”

  “I mean, I’ve already spent enough time talking about Joey. Josef—whatever.”

  “Not the worst subject to bring up,” I said. “After all, my job is to protect you from him.”

  “True,” she said. “But I was about to go off on him like he was any other shitty ex. Not exactly need-to-know information.”

  “Why don’t you let me be the judge of that,” I said.

  “Fine,” she said. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you. And it’s a little embarrassing.”

  I nodded, giving her the signal to go on.

  “I was thinking about how you said you’d tried on a life that you thought you ‘should’ have, and how it only made you realize that how stupid it was to even try.”

  “Uh huh,” I said.

  “And, well, with Joey, he wasn’t exactly Prince Charming, even before I found out that he was a freaking crime lord. He was a real piece of shit.”

  “In what way?” I asked.

  It wasn’t hard to imagine how someone like him would be in a relationship. Scum like him didn’t think about anyone but themselves.

  “At first he seemed like any other type-A business guy in the city. I’d been on plenty of dates with the type, and I guess I figured if I wanted to date someone who could go toe-to-toe with a woman like me that I’d just have to learn to handle them. I wasn’t going to make the mistake of dating a starving artist again.”

  “Sure,” I said.

  “About a month into it, I found out he was into drugs. I took his coat off a chair and a little baggie of white powder fell out. That should’ve been it right there, but like I said, I figured guys like him needed a little ‘help’ every now and then. Stupid, I know.”

  I took a sip and continued to listen.

  “So I ignored it and hoped that some illicit substances every now and then were the worst of it. Of course, they weren’t. He started getting sloppy and leaving his phone lying around, and let’s just say the girls who messaged him weren’t really coy about what they wanted.”

  “Shit,” I said.

  “He was screwing around behind my back—no doubt about it. And, like an idiot, I tried to ignore it. And when I couldn’t, I tried to convince myself that it was somehow my fault, that I was just so bad at relationships that I brought it out of him.”

  She clenched and unclenched her hands on the table as she slowly shook her head.

  “But there’s only so much bullshit I can take,” she said. “Getting walked on isn’t how I’m built. So, one day a few months into it all I confronted him about the girls and the drugs everything else. And I got really heated about it, too. Called him a liar, told him that only weak men who need constant validation from women cheat.”

  “Atta girl,” I said, pleased to hear it.

  “And that’s when he shoved me.”

  “What?” I barked.

  “Not too hard,” she said. “He pushed me back against the wall, and I slammed my shoulder. And that was my limit. I’d been able to convince myself that the other crap was mildly tolerable, but never, and I mean never, would I ever accept a man laying a hand on me.”

  “Surprised to hear you didn’t rip it off,” I said.

  “Damn, I wanted to,” she said. “Instead I told him to get the fuck out of my apartment and never come back.”

  “Good call,” I said.

  “Right. But it was what started all this, the mess that I’m in right now. Because even a shithead like him knew that he’d fucked up big time. That’s when he told me about his real business, how he actually made his money. Told me that I could represent his clients and make all sorts of money. It was a demand and a ‘favor’ all wrapped up in one.”

  “Damn,” I said.

  “And now I’m in the middle of it.” She shook her head. “It makes me so mad. If only I’d gone with my gut and not started anything with a totally obvious prick like him. But no, I had to tell myself that I needed to get out of my comfort zone, to at least try to have something like a normal life.”

  “It’s funny,” I said. “How we learn and train and try to make ourselves tough and ready for whatever life can throw at us. But the most reliable tool we’ve got is something that we don’t need to be taught how to use. It’s that annoying, nagging voice inside of us that always seems to know the right thing to do, as much as we like to pretend it’s full of shit.”

  “No kidding,” she said.

  It was at that moment I noticed how close the two of us had gotten. Not emotionally, though that was definitely the case. But somehow during our conversation, our bodies had slowly but surely moved nearer and nearer to one another. Our arms on the table were nearly touching, and her impossibly intoxicating scent was beginning to be all I could think about.

  My cock twitched as soon as I noticed it. Speaking of listening to what our bodi
es were saying…

  Natalie seemed to notice the same thing I had at the exact same time.

  “And what is that little voice saying right now?” she asked. “What is it not shutting up about?”

  I smirked. “Not sure it’s fit for polite conversation,” I said.

  She leaned in even closer, biting down softly and tantalizingly on her lower lip.

  “Then maybe you should show me instead.”

  “I’d love to.” I closed the last few inches between the two of us and placed my lips on hers.

  Chapter Nineteen

  NATALIE

  The trip back from the bar felt like the longest ten minutes of my life. Garrett and I were all over each other, barely able to make it more than a few feet at a time before pouncing on one another like a couple of horny teenagers.

  Hell, taking my lips from his at the bar and not just sweeping everything off the table and going at it right there had been hard enough.

  When we got into the elevator and the doors shut, however, it was on.

  We flew toward one another like two magnets, our bodies and lips locking. My hands grabbed hard onto his flanks, my pussy clenching at the sensation of his hard angles through his leather jacket.

  But still, as much as every part of me wanted him so badly that it was almost physically painful, there was still a small bit of me that wanted to hold off. It was like a little alarm bell signaling that something wasn’t quite right about this situation.

  God, shut up, I told myself as Garrett’s hands moved down the curves of my hips, making their way to the heat between my legs.

  I told myself that it had to be how I’d sworn that he and I would have a strictly professional relationship, and now I was going against it. I was surrendering to my passion, my need for Garrett’s body to be on top of mine.

  Or maybe it was the fact that I still had the bullshit with Joey floating around in my head. My and Garrett’s previous little thing was easy to write off as a quick, satisfying fuck and nothing more. He was hot, and the attraction was there, so why not?

  But now, things felt deeper between us, more intense. I didn’t only want him because of how damned good he looked. No, I wanted him because I felt close to him. There was a bond that was deeper than only physical attraction.

  And it scared me.

  That had to be it, I told myself. I was getting close and was afraid of getting burned again. But Garrett was different. He wasn’t some scummy criminal. He was a private guy, sure, the type who liked to keep his emotions close and guarded. But what about him could I possibly learn that would change my mind about how I felt?

  No, I was just being paranoid. I told the voice to shut the hell up and went right back to kissing the living hell out of him. And he did the same to me.

  I took Garrett in with each sense that I had—I savored the whiskey on his lips, inhaled his intoxicating, manly scent, felt the contours and lines of his toned body through his clothes, basked in the raw, animal heat of his skin.

  As I kissed and caressed him, a hand landed on my breast. I let out a long, slow sigh as he touched me, my nipples going hard as he rubbed me through my shirt and bra. His hand traveled down and didn’t stop. He moved over my belly, then down to my waist, his fingers working the button of my jeans as he did.

  “Wait,” I said, pulling my lips away from his.

  Garrett regarded me with an expression that was both heated and curious all at once. A few thick, brown strands of his hair hung over his wide forehead, making him look wonderfully mussed.

  “Something wrong?” he asked.

  I reached past him and pressed the large red button on the elevator panel that read “emergency stop.” The elevator lurched to a slow stop, and I turned my attention back to Garrett.

  “Only that the elevator’s going to open soon, and I don’t think I can even wait for us to get to my bedroom.”

  His sexy little smile made it clear that he was very happy with my answer.

  “Now,” I said in between full, heaving breaths. “Where were we?”

  “Let me show you,” he said as he clamped his hand down on my back and brought me into another deep, hard kiss.

  Speaking of hard, his manhood was stiff and ready through his trousers. I grinded against it, my cunt already wet.

  Garrett went back to my waistband, moving past the undone button and pulling down the zipper. He gave my jeans a quick tug down, exposing the first few inches of my ruby-red thong.

  I remembered at that moment that I’d gone out of my way to wear something sexy and matching, not even thinking about it when I’d put them on. Had I known deep down that something was going to happen between Garrett and me tonight?

  His hand slid down my panties, the sensation of his fingers against my lips shoving any other such thoughts out of my head. I let out a long, slow moan as he spread me open and slipped a pair of fingers inside of me. I was already so wet that Garrett glided straight in, his fingertips curling up and pressing against my G-spot exactly how I wanted.

  “Oh, oh my god,” I moaned as he moved in and out of me, the sounds of his fingers penetrating me filling the tight, enclosed space of the elevator.

  The way he touched me was like magic. He moved in and out of me with his fingers, his thumb pressing against my clit. I grinded my hips against his hand as he fingered me, my eyes winced shut as the pleasure grew and grew.

  And as if the touching wasn’t enough, Garrett continued to kiss me, his lips moving along the gentle slope of my neck, stopping occasionally to nibble on my earlobes, the sensation causing all of my body to break out in goose bumps.

  His fingers were like heaven, but I needed more. I already knew how good it felt to be filled up by his cock, and it was the only thing that would give me the satisfaction I craved.

  “That feel good?” Garrett growled into my ear, his voice a sensual purr.

  “So fucking good,” I moaned, my hips still bucking into his hand. “But…”

  He pulled his head back and flashed me a smile that made it clear he knew exactly what I wanted. But I wasn’t going to wait for him to give it to me—I’d already had all the teasing I could take.

  I went to work on his belt buckle, pulling it open with a clatter and giving myself access to his zipper and button. Those were undone in a flurry of fingers, and soon I had his pants yanked down, his cock springing out thick and hard and dripping.

  All for me.

  I took hold of it, Garrett’s fingers still moving in and out of me, pushing me closer and closer to an orgasm. He took his fingers out long enough to yank my pants and panties down to my ankles. I did the rest of the work, stepping out of them, along with my flats.

  Garrett moved his hands up my soft, bare thighs, coming to a stop on my hips. He took firm hold of me and effortlessly lifted me up like I weighed no more than the pillow he’d deflected earlier in the evening.

  I loved the way he handled me, his strong, muscular body moving me with ease, making me feel small and sexy and safe all at the same time. As he lifted me, I opened my legs, wrapping them around his hips. Garrett positioned himself so that his cock slid into me as I did.

  I pulled a sharp gasp of air into my lungs as he penetrated me, all of his many, many inches pushing deep into my hot, wet pussy.

  “Fuck!” I shot out, my eyes going wide.

  The first time we’d made love he’d entered me slowly, giving me time to adjust to his length and girth. Not this time. Now I’d gone from “empty” to “full” in less than a blink. It was almost too much, but in the best way possible.

  My legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his wide, strong shoulders, I held fast as he turned me toward the wall and pushed me up against it. The wall was cool and smooth against the back of my ass, the perfect contrast to the warmth of his body.

  As he held me there, however, a thought occurred to me through the haze of booze and passion—this wasn’t protected. His cock was bare inside of me. I quickly went through m
y memory, trying to remember if I’d been on top of taking my pill on time. I was usually good about it, but between everything that had been going on it was impossible to say if—

  The first thrust of his hips knocked all of those thoughts out of my head. All I could think about was how fucking good he felt inside of me, bare or not. Garrett kept me pressed against the wall, pushing his prick into me over and over, each hard buck elevating me to a new level of unbelievable pleasure.

  “So fucking, so fucking good,” I moaned, my face pressed into his shoulder and my hair draped over his back.

  I was pinned against the wall and I loved it. Garrett drove into me again and again, minutes passing like seconds as his cock brought me closer and closer to the release I craved. The man knew how to fuck, and he was putting all of his skills and strengths to use.

  “I want you to come,” I moaned, now so close to orgasm that I felt as though I was still being teased. “I want you to come inside me.”

  That voice returned, now screaming at the insanity of what I was saying.

  Come inside of me? Am I out of my mind?

  But the passion was taking on a life of its own, begging and pleading for his sensual release.

  The orgasm that had been building and building finally exploded through me, causing my muscles to tense and my nails to dig so hard into Garrett’s clothes that I worried for a second that I might tear through them and claw into his skin.

  Garrett was next, and a deep, throaty grunt announced his climax. His cock erupted inside of me, just like I’d asked him. But, thankfully, he seemed to realize what was happening as it did. He withdrew from me and finished on my thigh, his seed warm and thick.

  Once we’d both finished we remained in each other’s arms for several long moments, catching our breath. My arms stayed wrapped around his body, my head resting on his shoulder. The air was thick with the heat and scent of sex.

  I hated to admit it, but there was no place I would’ve rather been at that moment than right there in Garrett’s arms. There was something happening between us, something that scared me and thrilled me all at once.